Free China Dating City Date In China

We are not saying that China women dating is better than dating women from other countries. But if you're a western man who wants to date Chinese women, you’ll find this guide helpful. China women dating is quite attractive for western men, thanks to the mystery which surrounds these women. China didn't have any major ties with the world.

• Most popular free chinese dating sites Here we make a list of the asia 6 best Chinese dating sites with reviews, check it out and find your Chinese love now. ChinaLoveCupid is the biggest English language dating site which focuses for connecting Chinese ladies with expats in China or foreigners outside of the app.
• The best dating sites and apps in China which I will discuss in detail in this post free give you the best opportunity to find a significant other or a casual date in this country. Any site best did not make this list probably has poor membership quality, a best interface, or is too expensive, etc.
• However, Chinese dating apps have also added elements that are not so common, such as matchmaker-mediated chats, voice message speed dating, and more. The nine largest dating apps in China in 2020 by China iOS app store rank, as of April 27, 2020 are.

“Everybody needs somebody” – so goes the song by the Blues Brothers.

It’s true that everyone needs a companion.

So if you’re going to be in China for a while, read on to find out what dating and romance in China is like from a guy’s perspective.

My background

Even though I was a typical noisy and inquisitive child, I found myself growing more and more shy and reserved as I got older.

By the time I reached high school in the UK, many of my classmates were in relationships. During break time, I saw many couples walking around hand-in-hand.

But I was alone, unhappily single.

At the ripe old age of 21, I finally decided that I’d had enough of the single life. I joined a dating agency and started receiving lists containing the contact details of various girls.

One of my most memorable experiences was meeting a Russian girl named Ludmilla whose journalist father had been posted to London. But she’s a stutterer, so whenever I rang her, I couldn’t understand a word she said!

I eventually gave up and promised to write to Ludmilla instead. When she replied, it was only to say that she’d met someone else. However, I found out that her twin sister, Maria, was interested in meeting me.

Maria and I soon became an item. What are the chances?

We dated for a while, and things were looking good. However, Maria was unable to find a job in the UK and, in a twist of fate, the medical condition she had started deteriorating. She would have severe mood swings and start crying for no reason.

Even the doctors weren’t able to accurately diagnose exactly what she was suffering from and she was eventually sent to a care home where she remains to this day.

I wasn’t able to support her financially or emotionally, so we broke up.

While I did have some positive dating experiences in the UK, you can see why I was looking forward to starting afresh in China when I came here to teach English.

What can you expect from a relationship with a Chinese girl?

Now that I’ve been in China for quite a few years, I’ve really learned the lay of the land.

For starters, there’s a misconception in China that all foreigners are rich.

It’s not uncommon for young Chinese women to put in a great deal of effort learning English in school so she can bag a foreign boyfriend.

A Chinese girl in her mid-twenties or older would also be looking for, not merely a boyfriend, but a potential future husband.

In fact, it would be extremely unlikely that such a woman would be willing to go out on a date with a man unless she has very strong feelings for him as a potential spouse.

This is exacerbated by society’s pressure of marriage. If you’re a single Chinese woman in your late 20s, sadly you’re referred to as a leftover woman (‘sheng nu’ in Mandarin).

It can be quite scary for a foreigner to be put under this kind of pressure at an early stage in a relationship.

So, be warned that this is something you may need to deal with.

What do Chinese women look for in a man?

Many Chinese women insist that any prospective suitors own a property in China and provide a bride price.

My ex-girlfriend wanted an apartment costing RMB 700,000 – this is almost US$100,000! This was in addition to the RMB 150,000 (US$21,000) bride price.

January and February are rather expensive months to be having a relationship in China. Both Valentine’s Day and the Chinese Spring Festival fall around this time.

Unlike many Western women, a Chinese woman won’t be satisfied with flowers or chocolates.

Oh no, she’ll be expecting something much more expensive – think iPhones, Chanel perfume or gold jewelry.

Chinese women want more expensive gifts than a bunch of flowers.

If you object on the grounds of expense, this is what she’ll say:

“If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t want your gifts. Some years ago, another man was chasing me. He was rich, he had an apartment and a car, but I didn’t love him so I didn’t want anything from him.”

She’ll make it sound as if lavishing money on her is a privilege that you should be grateful for.

In a nutshell – as harsh as it may sound – Chinese women want men who are rich and stable.

Other customs when dating in China

When it comes to Chinese dating and romance, there are some other customs you need to be aware of.

Finances

• Men are expected to pay for everything when on a date in China.
• In a serious relationship, you’ll have to buy gifts not just for your girlfriend, but also for her parents.
• Many Chinese women expect to control all the money in a marriage.

Parents

• Meeting your girlfriend’s parents is tantamount to committing to marriage.
• Your girlfriend can’t go abroad with you to meet your parents until after marriage.
• A Chinese woman is closest to her mother so how well you get along with your girlfriend’s mother can determine the success or failure of the relationship.

Traits of a typical Chinese woman

• They can be stubborn and inflexible.
• Many expect a life of luxury after marriage and to be provided for by their husbands.
• They may not be willing to marry for better or for worse. One of my ex-girlfriends wanted to leave me when she found out I had hypertension!
• It isn’t beneath them to lie to you to ‘save face’.

In addition, many Chinese women seem to follow the rules only when it suits them.

Let me explain: in return for the bride price, it’s customary for the woman’s side to buy a car or to furnish the apartment.

But if the woman doesn’t come from a rich family, she’ll insist that she’s exempt from following her own customs.

And they’re certainly not going to discard their customs in favor of those of their foreign husband’s, especially in their own country!

Some Chinese girls will be reluctant to get into a relationship with a foreigner. They know that at some point, you’ll leave the country and she’ll have to decide whether to follow you (if she’s able to) or break up with you.

My experience dating in China

Some of you may think I’ve generalized too much.

This may be true to an extent, but let me share some personal dating experiences in China with you. Then you can make up your mind.

Romance in the workplace

I once taught at a university where many students who chose to major in English were female.

The temptation to break the golden rule of teaching English in China – never get in to a romantic relationship with a student – was high.

However, after seeing one or two male teachers get fired for doing exactly that, I thought the better of it and decided to look elsewhere.

At one of the universities that I’ve taught at, I really fancied three of the Chinese teachers. After a lot of persuasion, I managed to get my counterpart teacher to agree to join me for dinner one night.

Unfortunately, I was ultimately rejected because she was looking for a local guy and not a foreigner.

I turned to the internet

I then turned to the internet.

On dating sites, I came across many girls who couldn’t speak English. And not every girl who I sent a message to would reply.

If the attraction was mutual, and we could understand each other, we’d exchange WeChat IDs with a view to meeting up.

I actually met my first girlfriend in China this way. Her name was Angela and we first started chatting online in 2014. Our conversations became more frequent until eventually, we were chatting every day.

We even fell in love online so that by the time we went on our first date seven months later, we were already a couple.

Then the demands started. She wanted expensive gifts, she asked for an apartment (only in her city, nowhere else) and a huge dowry.

But she wasn’t willing to move with me to where my job was. It seemed like she was taking a lot and giving very little back in return.

We eventually broke up when my contract came to an end. I wasn’t able to find a job in her city and she wasn’t prepared to wait a year for me to try again.

My second Chinese girlfriend

My second Chinese girlfriend was called Wang Xiao Ling. She was totally unlike Angela.

Xiao Ling generously paid my hotel bill when I traveled to Zhengzhou to see her on our first date. She was happy to live in rented accommodation and didn’t need a dowry.

Once she had me in her clutches though, the demands started coming thick and fast. She had a daughter and she wanted me to fund her education in the US.

Xiao Ling also wanted a new car for her birthday. Not just any old car, but one that costs RMB 300,000 (almost US$50,000). And, she wanted me to surrender all my wealth to her!

There was no way I could possibly afford or agree to all that, so we eventually broke up.

The date from hell

I re-joined the dating website and started chatting with a girl called Sophie from Chengdu. She was a qualified teacher of English, French and Chinese but was unemployed at the time.

She was always late for our dates, sometimes making me wait almost two hours for her.

Sophie had obsessive compulsive disorder and was forever checking and double-checking that she had not left anything behind.

She was extremely controlling and couldn’t ever take ‘no’ for an answer. She used me as a wallet, even making me buy her basic groceries. And worst of all, she only wanted a platonic relationship!

Chinese women can be hard work.

I had planned on spending my entire winter vacation with her but we were constantly quarreling.

She remains the only girl I have ever said “**** you” to and I cut my trip short and returned home after two weeks just to get away from her!

She upset me so much that I swore that I never wanted to get into a relationship with another woman again.

I have my present girlfriend to thank for changing my mind about that. But that’s a story for another time!

Where can you find a girlfriend in China?

If you’re single and ready to mingle, bars and nightclubs are some of the most obvious places. But the challenge is the people whom you meet there probably won’t be able to speak English.

If you’re like most foreigners in China, you won’t have a good grasp of Mandarin. So think hard about starting something that you may not be able to continue.

At first, you may find the communication difficulty kind of cute. But trust me, it gets tiring after a while!

You could also consider dating a work colleague (either a fellow foreigner or a local). This is a fairly common way of meeting people in China.

My experience with Chinese dating websites

Like with most serious dating websites, you might need to pay a fee to join up.

On the (now defunct) dating website in China that I used, I created my profile and started sending messages to all the women I fancied.

It’s interesting how Chinese girls can fall in love online so that by the time you physically meet for the first time, you’re already a couple.

There are a number of current dating websites where you can find Chinese women who are looking for a foreigner. Some popular sites for Western men include:

• Asian Dating.

Just keep in mind that China is a huge country. If you meet a girl you like online (and you’re already living in the country), you may have to travel a considerable distance to see her in person.

Be wary of any girl who starts professing her love for you before you’ve met in person and then suddenly finds herself in trouble and starts asking you for money.

It’s also well-known that many girls in China want to marry a British or American man simply to get a visa.

The advantages of having a local girlfriend in China

By now, I bet some of you are wondering if dating in China is worth the hassle!

Well, obviously having a Chinese girlfriend can provide you with companionship and emotional support.

Me having a romantic dinner with my girlfriend in China.

But there are some other advantages. She can:

• Help you learn Mandarin.
• Help you navigate many practical and cultural problems.
• Be easily pleased (just have a foreign face and passport, and a fat wallet).

Intimacy and sex in China

China is a very traditional country with old-fashioned values. Sex outside marriage is generally frowned upon.

In the West, a woman might show her affections for you by holding your hand, hugging you and kissing you. But in China, some women may feel very uncomfortable with public displays of affection.

In private however, all bets are off! When a Chinese woman is turned on, her sex drive can rival that of any Western woman.

I know this because, well, you get the picture!

Differences between Chinese women and Western women

It’s difficult to approach this topic without making generalizations.

However, please bear in mind that these observations are based on my own personal experiences in China and in the UK.

So, with that out of the way, here goes:

• Although gold-diggers can be found in any country, a British woman is more likely to be attracted to chemistry whilst a Chinese girl is more likely to be attracted to money.
• Chinese women tend to take relationships far more seriously than their British counterparts. They don’t date for fun, they date to marry.
• In the UK, living together before marriage isn’t a problem. But in China, it’s largely frowned upon.
• In many relationships in the UK, both partners work and contribute to the household expenses. In China, many women expect men to be providers.
• Renting a home isn’t a problem in the UK, but in China, home ownership is very important in a marriage.
• In the UK, many couples move away from their families for work, study and after marriage. In China, filial piety is strong and many Chinese people want to stay close to their families.
• It’s common for British couples to have separate or joint bank accounts. In China, there is a custom whereby a husband is expected to surrender all his money to his wife.
• Sex before marriage is highly frowned upon in China but isn’t a big deal in the UK.
• Chinese girls tend to be relatively simple compared to their British counterparts. They’ll be attracted to you if you have a good job and a high salary, and especially if you’re a foreigner.

Implications for visitors and expats in China

Before you decide to get a Chinese girlfriend, you need to ask yourself these questions:

• Are you prepared to make China your permanent home? Chinese women generally want to stay close to their families.
• Are you prepared to (and can you afford) to buy an apartment in China? Bear in mind that foreigners can’t own property so you’ll have to put it in your wife’s name.
• How stable is your job? Chinese people have permanent jobs that are almost impossible to lose but a school or company can refuse to renew foreigners’ contracts.
• Are you prepared to make a long-term commitment to and marry your Chinese girlfriend?
• Are you prepared to let your wife have control of your wealth?
• Will you do whatever it takes (even taking two jobs) to earn enough money to send your future children to an American university?

A warning to foreign teachers in China

This final bit may be irrelevant to you if you’re not a teacher in China like me.

English seems to be a very feminine subject in Chinese higher education, meaning more girls than guys are studying it.

So, if you’re a man teaching English major students at a Chinese university, you’ll find yourself surrounded by young female students, some of whom will be very pretty!

I personally know of some foreign teachers who have tried to date their students. Although this is sorely tempting, don’t under any circumstances date a student.

A teacher is held in a position of trust and shouldn’t betray that trust. And you don’t want to get fired.

Psst! One last tip

If you want to search online for girls while you’re in China, it’s best you do it with a VPN on your device. This helps you escape online surveillance and remain anonymous.

You can refer to this review for the best VPN for China (or skip the review and go here).

Just make sure you download it before you arrive as the signup page will be blocked in China.

Dating in China has its rewards

I’ve done my fair share of dating in China.

In many ways, dating here is very much like dating elsewhere. But there are also some major differences as I’ve pointed out.

The bottom line is this: As a man, if you want to find a partner in China, you’ll need to be rich and stable. And you may need to be prepared to spend the rest of your life here too!

Hopefully, after reading this article you’ll be better prepared to navigate dating and romance in China.

I hope you find the woman of your dreams soon!

I hope you liked my article on dating in China. If you have any questions or comments, just let me know below. I’ve also written an article about massage and prostitution in China which you may enjoy.

Want more helpful information about China?

China is one of the leading countries in terms of technological advancements. Despite this, it has preserved its ancient culture like any other Asian country. In this conservative country that values customs and traditions above all else, casually dating can go against their dating norms. Adapting to the new Chinese dating culture can be difficult but not impossible.

Chinese Dating Environment

Dating Practices in China has evolved over the years. The dating practices in China has gone from being dependent on matchmakers to relying on their freedom of choice. The innovation of dating in general and the different western influences played a huge role in changing the Chinese courtship etiquette. Both old and new Chinese dating cultures dramatically depended on region and province. Like Singapore, money and wealth have a significant influence on how Chinese men, especially women, choose their partner.

Even though we’ve entered the era of online dating, understanding the Chinese dating customs and etiquettes will help you find your true love within the Chinese tradition.

The Old Chinese Dating Culture

The marriage between a man and a woman in ancient China rarely had to do anything with love. The proper marrying age for Chinese men was around 20 years old, while the coming of age for women to be suitable for marriage is 16 years old. These marriages were more of a business partnership to connect two families than the everlasting unification of a couple.

The long-standing dating culture in China is the sān shū liù lǐ (三书六礼) that translates to ‘Three Letters and The Six Etiquettes.’ This tradition has existed since 1046 BC to 771 BC and serves as the guideline on the etiquette of dating Chinese women. Aside from this guideline, traditional dating culture in China heavily relied on matchmakers and festivals designed for socializing. This tradition consists of two parts; the letters and the etiquettes.

Three Letters

The three letters in the tradition serve as the formal documents that make each encounter between the two families. The letters include the betrothal letter, gift letter, and the wedding letter. The groom must follow the order of the letters to ensure the practice of China’s dating traditions. These letters are essential to make each dating practice official and binding. Without these letters, the marriage between the man and the woman would be meaningless.

1. Betrothal Letter or 聘书 (pìn shū).

Free China Dating City Date In China Website

This letter comes first in any traditional Chinese wedding. The groom will give this letter to the bride’s family to express his intention to marry the bride and as an official mark for their engagement.

2. Gift Letter or 礼书 (lǐ shū).

Once the engagement is official, the soon-to-be-wed couple will be writing the gifts they want for their wedding and give it to their families. This letter plays a significant role in making sure that the marriage is successful. It represents the amount of good luck and love their parents wish them to have at their wedding.

3. Wedding Letter or 迎亲书 (yíng qīn shū).

Wedding letters are the last letters to be written in a traditional Chinese wedding. The groom will be presenting this letter to the bride’s parents to officially commemorate the bride’s acceptance into the groom’s family circle.

Six Etiquettes

The following practices are the proper steps in asking for a girl’s hand in marriage during ancient China.

China Love Match

1. Proposal or 纳采 (nà cǎi).

The proposal is the first step in asking a woman for marriage. When a man finds a woman attractive and wants to marry her, he will be asking for a matchmaker to help him with the engagement. The groom initiates this stage, but a matchmaker performs it on behalf of the groom. The matchmaker goes to the bride’s parents and asks for their permission with the groom’s parents. The matchmaker is given gifts as a sign of gratitude from the parents upon an agreement regarding the match. In some cases, the parents decide on the couple with the help of the matchmaker. The prospective bride and groom in these situations would not meet until their wedding day.

2. Birthday Matching or 问名 (wèn míng).

The birthday matching is the most important step among the six etiquettes. This stage determines whether the matched man and woman are perfect or compatible with each other. All involved parties with or without the potential couple will hire a fortune teller with the matchmaker’s recommendation. The fortune teller will then study their compatibility using the pair’s time, date, and place of birth. If the fortune-teller reports that the match is compatible, then the marriage proceeds to the next stage and would end right then and there if otherwise.

3. Presenting Betrothal Gifts or 订婚礼物 (Dìnghūn lǐwù).

The offering of betrothal gifts comes once the fortune teller has given its blessing on the pairing. The matchmaker presents the bride’s parents with the betrothal gifts and the betrothal letter from the groom’s parents. This stage officially signifies the couple’s engagement through the exchange of two silver coins and the letter. The coin with the Chinese character 求 (qiú) meaning ‘proposal’ would come from the groom’s side. The bride’s family would then send another silver coin with the Chinese character 允 (yǔn), meaning ‘agreed’ in return. The matchmaker will also inform the bride’s family on the success of the matching and that the marriage can progress to the next stage.

4. Presenting Wedding Gifts or 纳征 (nà zhēng).

The number of gifts the groom gives his future wife represents how much he loves and respects her. The more extravagant the presents are the better. These gifts would also signify his offerings towards the bride’s family as a sign of gratitude in accepting and welcoming the groom’s family as part of their own. This gift-giving tradition is one of the most critical ‘etiquettes’ among the six to show the groom’s respect towards the bride and her family. The expected gifts include lavish and valuable items depending on the bride’s family’s local customs and wealth.

5. Wedding Date or 请期 (qǐng qī).

Ancient China strongly depended on astrological beliefs to ensure success and prosperity. The matchmaker would consult the fortune teller once again on the best wedding date for the couple. The day could take place years after the engagement or as early as the next day as long as the fortune teller chooses the day to ensure the couple’s happiness and the family’s success. After the date’s announcement, the groom’s family would request for the bride’s dowry to decorate the bridal chamber. The type of dowry will determine her status within the groom’s family after the marriage.

6. Wedding Ceremony or 亲迎 (qīn yíng).

It is customary for the bride to cry before she leaves her parent’s home. It is to show her reluctance to leave her mother and to thank her parents for educating her. The groom also has to pick up her bride from her parent’s house and bring her to his home for the wedding ceremony. Before he can see the bride, he must overcome several tricky scenarios to show that he is worthy of being with the bride. It is within the traditional Chinese dating etiquette that the soon-to-wed couple wears red clothing during the wedding ceremony. The color red would symbolize their love for each other, honor, and fertility.

The New Chinese Dating Culture

China remains a conservative country despite the lifestyle changes surrounding it. Despite continuing the traditional Chinese dating culture, a lot has changed on the concept of dating and relationships in China. The development of new technologies and their application played a massive part in this change not only in China but anywhere around the world.

Relationship Status

In western countries, before getting into a relationship with someone, they pass through three phases; introduction, dating, exclusiveness. Strangers meet through friends, parties, social gatherings, or online. The fastest way to meet other single individuals in liberated countries is through online dating platforms like TrulyChinese. The dating part of a developing relationship is where both parties get to know each other before deciding whether they’ll commit something serious. When both sides are still interested in each other before spending so much time without an actual label, they proceed to the ‘girlfriend/boyfriend’ territory. Both parties commit to being the only one for each other and upgrade their status to ‘in a relationship’ label.

Related Article: The Best Way to Meet Chinese Singles

The way people date in China is not that different, only with the absence of the ‘dating’ phase. If you want to date a Chinese man or woman, expect that your partner will ask to be your girlfriend/boyfriend officially once you’ve confessed your interest with him or her. Getting to know who they are, takes place while being in an official relationship with him or her.

Going After Girls

Pursuing women in China means you’re also pursuing the girl’s family. Like the traditional dating culture in China, men are expected to take the initiative in showing interest in the relationship and take care of the girl. Liking the same girl among your friends is common in China. While this situation can be a bad thing in other countries, those involved see it as a friendly competition. It may be normal in the Chinese dating culture, but not all women are comfortable in these rivalries among friends.

Related Article: How to Get A Chinese Girlfriend

The Dating Phase

Free China Dating City Date In China Now

Dating, however, depends on where you are. China is now a little more open-minded to casual dating, but rural areas still follow the traditional customs and traditions. The urban cities like Shanghai and Beijing are more liberated and accepting of casual dating than those in rural areas. Their dating etiquette still includes the intention of eventually marrying your dating partner.

When dating a Chinese woman, it is essential to shower her with presents. Material wealth is vital in Chinese courtship etiquette. The number of gifts you give your girl is equivalent to how much you love her. Making a public statement on your relationship like wearing matching outfits is also common. Announcing your status and the competition among friends who are also in a relationship is another unspoken dating custom in China.

Marriage Plans

Dating A Chinese Girl

Parent’s involvement in their children’s dating life has existed since ancient times. Because of this nature, you still need to have the parent’s approval before dating a Chinese woman officially. Their involvement also places the pressure of marriage among Chinese singles. This pressure makes their dating culture fast-paced. Marriage markets and online dating applications exist to help Chinese individuals keep up with the flow.
With TrulyChinese, you don’t have to worry about the pressure of marriage markets. This online Chinese dating site is packed with multiple well-made features like advanced search, messaging, browsing, sending interests, and even video chatting that will make Chinese dating fun and exciting. You can connect with thousands of Chinese men and women in the comforts of your home. There is no need to rush into marriage, and there is also plenty of room to apply the different dating customs and traditions China values so much.